Happy New Year

Hello.

I licked this plastic bag about 100 times this morning. And then I rubbed my head on it a lot so that everyone would know it was mine. Pumpy was not allowed to lick my bag, FYI. No. Way.

We got to eat a piece of cheese this evening in celebration of Hogmanay, which is the Scottish name for the New Year's Eve Celebration. Hurrah.

Happy New Year to all my friends. May 2010 bring you all peace.

Obviously Pumpy was feeling a little insecure yesterday and he needed to reach out and touch me during our nap. Sometimes that's OK. But as you must know by now, sometimes that's NOT OK. Yesterday I was feeling very magnanimous and so there was no hissing or biting.

Ceiling Cat Christmas Story

From the Lolcat Bible:

Hai! Kittehs luv Crismus Trees very much! Dey liek to play wit dem, an eet dem, an mak tinsul hang out of der butt. But we mus remembah teh troo reesun we haf Crismus is cuz Ceiling Cat luv pien trees and he mak a holaday for dem. Srsly.

Merry Christmas - and don't eat the tinsel. It's bad for you.

White Christmas

Dawgs,

We got snow yesterday and everybody stayed home from work and the lap lady got a cold.

The Christmas tree went up this week but this is not as exciting to me as it was in years past. Maybe because I know it's not real and it's too far to jump up and bite a babble.

Pumpy and I had a real bust-up in the middle of the night. So much so that the lady bean had to come downstairs in her housecoat and slippers and moderate our dispute. It was noted this morning that Pumpy and I usually have these bad fights in cold weather and they are usually because one of us -- PUMPY -- tries to steal a warm spot away from someone else.

Well - things are getting back to normal. My lap lady went away and our friend, Amie, stayed with us again. But Amie doesn't know how to turn on the computer so I couldn't write my blog!

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Do you like my toes? I allowed the LL to clip my nails!

I MAY have gained a little weight lately. Turns out that new stinky goodness isn't so good either so I has been eating some special diet fudz with some lovely gravy and it's all workin' for me.

Let's get an early start on Thanksgiving, kittties.

Watching Auntie Beeb

Last week we watched the Donny & Marie show on the BBC. We felt that Marie's plastic surgeon cut a little too close to her left eye and that she needs a sensible hair cut. And we were sorry that we had to sit through another rendition of "Paper Roses."

On a bright side, it made us think of our OTHER friends, Donny and Marie. Feel free to go visit them!!

Happy Monday everyone. Go have a good week.

Veterans Day

England

November 11, 2009

The Food Lady's Powerbook keeps my bootie warm.

I just read that a cat in Iowa has been diagnosed with the swine flu. Kitties... get your rest and drink lots of fluids.

Dear Walthams Feline Urinary Diet Food Maker,

Your stinky goodness is REALLY stinky. Srsly. So much so that I have deemed it stinky badness and I refuse to eat it. Thanks to you I have to go to the vet today to see if I can eat another kind of special fudz that won't give me bladder stones.

Thanks a lot,
Pearl

I have a question: if the clocks fall back an hour, does that REALLY mean that breakfast is moved up an hour? Like... srsly. My tummy tells me that it's 6:00 and it's time for stinky goodness even if the clock says it's 5:00. This seems all wrong to me.

Also, there are no more sun spots in the afternoon.

That is all. I need to go treadle on the lap lady for a few minutes to relieve my stress.

Vishus Deer for Breakfast

This is just incredible. And scary for us kitties to watch. View at your own peril.

Seriously Hungry

Here Pumpy and I are becoming increasingly concerned as the Lady Bean hasn't made one move towards the kitchen and our food bowls. As you can see, we're starving and this is no joke.

Hello Lap Lady. We'd like to sit on you.
Why are you talking to us about boundaries? We're CATS fer cryin' out loud.
'Scuse me... I'll just step lightly...
... just right here...
Thankyewverymuch.

Hurry up with those Cheerios, food dude...



Or I might have to slurp your tea all over these important papers.

Pumpy's discovered that the dawg makes a good balance beam for reaching around and giving himself a thorough cleaning. Frankly, I'm glad he's found someone else to sit with whilst he performs his ablutions because it takes him FOREVER to finish and if he's sitting next to me I usually have to put the bitey on him. It's been the cause of many fights between us.

They're BAAACCCK

'scuse me while I have my cheerio milk.

Amie was nice and all that, but I'm rather glad to have the food people back in the house. Pumpy and I will be napping on the sofa today.

That is all.

Oh hello. Here we are, in full napping mode.

Our beans went away and we're being cared for by Amie, our pet sitter. Pumpy and Pickles are all like, "oh Aime, we love you... let's cuddle..." But I'm not so easy. I make sure that she gives me my fudz and I only allow her to touch me if I sit next to her and NO OTHER TIME.

Amie doesn't eat Cheerios!!

Hey Pearl, I've got an idea. You stay on that tray and I'll launch you off the table and see if you'll fly through the air and into the kitchen!


Hmmmmmmm. Pearl?

Never mind.

I always sit nicely with the food dude during breakfast.  I fear the day when he goes off Cheerios.  I'll never get any morning fudz if he switches to toast.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Mexican stand off at the O.K. Coral (of stinky goodness).

Here's another trick if you want to totally annoy your beans: block their view of each other when they're trying to have a serious conversation.

Notice Pumpy on the dining room table again. You can be sure that this is where he likes to be as he has a birds eye view of all goings on in the living room, dining room and kitchen. Also, the dog can't sniff his booty as she is wont to do sometimes.

Hello,

  Once again, Pumpy and I are waiting patiently for our fudz but the fudz isn't forthcoming.  In this instance, the lady bean was on the phone and we had to howl rhythmically and bore holes into her with our eyes until she stopped with the phone call and came out to the dining room to feed us our stinky goodness.  

  Srsly.  I'm going to do a podcast one day of our feeding time chorus so you can hear for yourselves.

Just an FYI... if you drive down the the New Forset in Dorset, England, and if you have your car window open, THIS might happen...



The New Forest is full of wild horses and apparently donkeys too. This lady donkey wants some fudz.

Abraham & Sarah...and a 50th Birthday Story

Pumpy and I have some Dutch connections. And they tell us that in The Netherlands, when a person turns 50, they are said to "have met Abraham or Sarah" (depending on the celebrant being a male or female). This is because, at the age of 50, people are old enough to have met the prophet and his wife.

And many Dutch 50 years old receive a cake or a bread in the shape of Abraham or Sarah on their birthday... or sometimes, even an effigy on their front garden.

Well, SOMEONE in this house is turning 50 this week and because Pumpy and I can't make her a cake or a puppet (because that's just silly), I tossed up a hairball in the shape of Sarah for her.

If you look closely you can see it on the (new) living room rug but you may not want to.

In line with my previous post about cats and dogs... meet Sam. Sam is Pickles' boyfriend and he lives down the road. He visits our house sometimes and when he does he barks at Pumpy and me because he thinks we're squirrels. Or something. So last week Sam was here and while Pumpy went upstairs to find respite in the bedroom, I held my ground in the lounge and I can assure you that I hissed and spit at him whenever he tried to come near me. I would have smacked him, too, except the woman intervened a few times.

I think this kitty is very polite. If it were me, I'd smack that dog's nose hard.

Happy August 1st.

When Pig Viruses Fly

What's all the hullabaloo about this Swine Flu that seems to be going around England? I understand that many beans in and around our neighborhood are ill. I believe that cats are immune to it and so Pumpy and I can rest up and be ready to comfort the woman and our food dude in case they get the cooties.

My only concern is that they won't have the strength to give us our stinky goodness.

Russell Crowe is making a movie in a location VERY close to our house. I'll diligently look out of our front window every day to see if he might walk down our road.

When I'm not looking out of the window, I'll be doing this:



It's lazy days here.

I've just read the most interesting thing on the internets. Apparently the Lotus company of Belgium is marketing a new spread that tastes just like biscuits! Hurrah! I know I'll love it as I love all things gooey and fatty.

You can read about it here. Maybe you can contact your grocer and ask him or her to contact the Lotus company and have them send some to you.

Pumpy and I are going to have our toenails clipped and then it's off for our evening naps.

Cheerio.

Love, Pearl.

It's hot here in south England. Srsly.

But I'm not complaining. I lay in the sunbeams even the temperatures are sweltering.

Wimbledon - The First Day

Did you know that eating strawberries and cream is a long held tradition at Wimbledon? This is a fact. And this is a tradition that I could be very happy to uphold. Especially the cream thing.

Did you also know that Andy Murray might make it to the finals and if he does that he will be the first British person to make it to the finals in 73 years (even though Andy Murray is a Scot - but never mind.)

We're keeping our paws crossed for you Andy!!

Bwhahahah!!

Oh Hai,

We watched Spring Watch last night and Simon King told us how we can have a close encounter with nature and wildlife.

The dog barked at the TEE VEE when she saw the red deer. (Stoopid dog.)

I got accidentally locked out of the house today while the woman went to get highlights put in her hair. I had to sit on the patio for a long time and I was pretty peeved when she got home.

The dog got into our litter, too. Heh, heh.

That is all.

Last night there was some kind of soiree here and we had a house full of beans and, well, I just don't go for that sort of thing. They were loud and they had big feet and the whole thing really put me off. Pumpy sat on the sofa with some of them but I made a speedy exit from the room.

The party broke up at midnight. At 6 AM this morning I simply went to the bedroom and ran my toenails through the woman's hair and I can only tell you that she was most ungracious about being woken up. I DID get my fudz, in case you were wondering. There was also some kind of apple tart left on the counter that I unwrapped but I didn't fancy it so it remained untouched.

It was a sunny day here, FYI, and Pumpy and I got to have a sun bath in the afternoon.

That is all.

OK - let's say, for instance, that you had just eaten a garden salad and had a few leaves stuck in your teeth...would you want someone to tell you or would you want them to just laugh and point and take pictures?

Pumpy does the high reconnaissance and I do the low reconnaissance. The area of operation is the dining room. Pumpy surveys the table to see what kind of fudz are available and I lay low to complete the mop-up.