The Cold

Generally, the English life is very satisfying to me. However, this house that the humans live in is C-O-L-D. I'm constantly looking for heat sources. There's a lovely heat source attached to the wall near the back of the sofa, and it heats up twice a day. Whenever I hear it click, I saunter over to the sofa (I never run - that would be so silly) and I lay down on the back of the sofa and rest my head on top of this white heat source. It's LOVELY. I close my eyes and drift off into a dream of hot sun and birds in the garden. Far away I can hear the human woman saying things like, "look at her. Isn't she cute? " or "Pearl... Pearl... can I give you a kiss? Pearl?" It's so annoying. I ignore her.

The above photo is of me with my other heat source. It's a small white thing that the human woman turns on whenever she's in the lounge. I have to sit on the end of the sofa and hang my head over the edge in order to get any heat what-so-ever and wish the humans would do something to make it more comfortable for me. I'm sure they could if they really tried.

The human woman is always cold too. She runs around the house with her big, fuzzy robe and slippers and says, "I'm so cold! I'm so cold!" And she has this OTHER heat source that she carries around with her. It's wonderful. It's small and when she puts it on the floor it blasts hot air right out of the front. I always lay down right in front of it and sometimes I lose myself completely and I roll over on my back. I normally don't expose my underside because the humans like to tickle my belly and I hate that.

Anyway... I don't know why that human woman complains all the time. She should just turn that wonderful blasting heat source on and lay down on her back in front of it and sleep -- like I do.

Last night she tried to get me to go to bed with her because she was cold. She took me upstairs and (let me tell you -- it's cold up there) and she put me in the bed with her and then she stuck her cold hands on my back. Then she tried to get the man who lives with us to get in bed to warm up her feet but he said "no way". He put some hot water in this red thingy and gave it to her but by then I was really annoyed by the two of them and so I left and went back downstairs to sleep with Pumpkin. I can bury my whole face in Pumpy's belly and keep my nose warm. Plus sometimes Pumpy cleans me with his tongue. Even the humans won't do that for me.

Meow.

Pearl C. Pritchard