Today I was given sole rights to the tuna juice from a can of tuna and it was absolutely incomprehensible to the dog. Sorry DAWG. Tuna juice is mine -- and so is your dog food if you don't guard it carefully.

Computer Hacking

As was discussed in my previous post, this is how computer hacking occurs. Somebody leaves their laptop open -- DIRECTLY IN THE SUNBEAMS -- and a kitty hacks. Then it's all over but the crying.

Phone Hacking... Srsly

Some people are getting into big trouble over here on account of phone hacking. I, for one, have NEVER phone hacked. If a kitty's got to hack, it's best to find an antique wool rug, a nice duvet, or else hack into a pair of shoes. Never a phone.
P.S., I've been known to computer hack on occasion, it must be said.

Butter Dish Number 4

Bought at a charity shop for £1.99 and holding some lovely butter which is my favorite.

You may wonder why the humans continue to buy butter dishes when they seem to mysteriously break. I wonder this myself. Oh, there's always the promise of keeping the butter dish away from table tops and off of counter tops but humans eventually slip up. It's inevitable. And when they do, it's bye-bye ceramic and HELLLLOOOOO butter.

Helloooo Cupcake

If a human bean leaves a cupcake on the table then a kitty is not responsible for what happens to the buttercream frosting. That's all I'm sayin'.

Your Personal Alarm Clock

If you need to get up by 5 AM every morning, then you would LOVE living with me. I am nothing if not reliable and persistent. I absolutely forbid the woman to sleep any longer than I deem necessary and woe to her if she tries to shoo me away with a wave of her hand.

4th of July Cat Safety

DON'T LICK THE BBQ GRILL!. And if you get scared of the loud fireworks, go to the closet or to the darkest cabinet. But take a snack.

Happy 4th of July!